Joe's Prose: So, you heard what when you bellied on up?
We've all heard the ramblings of someone who has drunk too much and should have talked a bit less, but sometimes you should pull away from your antlerphone (read on later in the column) and give a listen.
So to start this nightlife column, this was a brief conversation over a bathroom stall, and it had nothing to do with tapping feet. The guy said that just like the Ben Stiller character in "There's Something About Mary" while in a bathroom got something caught in his zipper that you never want to happen. Only he was only 6 years old and - gasp - his sisters were privy to it (sorry about the pun).
The owner of a big limousine company, who moved to Hudson and created a fantastic home up on the hill next to Birkmose Park, was at the Bullpen Cantina one night with his very socially outgoing girlfriend, who said she had worked as a 93X Girl and in part because of that gig got to go backstage at Somerset rock concerts. She said it was especially fun to party with the boys from the notorious heavy metal group Motorhead.
A bridge construction worker who did a job with the I-35 span the day it collapsed, and also worked on the Interstate 94 span, was telling the tale at Dick's one night. He said that he openly spoke his concerns to a television news crew at the site later that evening, and that they involved a contractor who operated a big machine that also was used when repairing I-94. When told how some repair workers had partied well into the night while on that local job, then were at the construction site by 5 a.m., he again said he's had some concerns,
This was overheard at Ellie's. A local woman who works at a St. Paul hospital was in Las Vegas. She saw another woman "eyeing her up," and after a moment thought she recognized her and shouted out, "Holly?" They then said hello and embraced. The cool part was that standing with "Holly" was celebrity Chris Angel.
Then, Tina Tequila walked past and the local woman spontaneously yelled a greeting - loudly. The celeb answered, also a bit boisterously. As these stories were being shared, another Hudsonite told of her celeb encounter in Vegas. It was Gene Simmons of KISS at the airport, complete with a female personal attendant to carry his luggage.
Pedicures also were all the rage at Ellie's. No, there wasn't a station with an artist applying them, but a guy and his extremely supportive girlfriend were praising their virtues - for one that he got, not she. (Although she was just bubbling over to encourage her man to talk about it.) Careful, though, there was nail polish or artsy decorations applied.
Earlier that week at Ellie's, some men were vigorously doing the New York Times crossword puzzle, one while serving, the other while being served. They said the minimum time for them to finish was three hours - and that the puzzles got more difficult as the week would draw on. And forget trying one while there over the busy weekend.
Former Hudsonite Katie Kerner was back in town from La Crosse, and she and sister Jenny last fall took part in a charity golf tournament. They embellished quite well about the instance they took a golf cart down a hill at a rate higher than what you'd drive through town - by putting it in neutral and seeing what it would do. Katie reportedly feared for her life, almost. What would happen if they hit a bump? Then the conversation segued into the need for a prime local dog park - like they already have in La Crosse.
This might have escaped notice, but the Jessie Langseth who made the top 36 cut for "American Idol" is actually the Jessie Lang who has played Dibbo's several times, as well as elsewhere in the Cities and its suburbs. Simon Cowell was curt with her, but between sets of her gigs here she was always very friendly when bellying up to the bar and talking to patrons.
Another band that plays Dibbo's, Hairball, spoofs 1980s rock and has been getting more and more prominent, based on the covers it often charges around the metro, and they were at Dibbo's not long ago. The spoof, however, has turned into more of a tribute, complete with a wall of big speakers on stage. They were so large that the drummer had difficulty scooting by when talking his station, and the singers also had to walk between them when going back and forth to change into their send-up costumes and wigs. Between these times, they held bottles of Jagermeister straight up to pour down their throats, and got a woman on stage to do the same. Incidentally, this was one of the first performances at Dibbo's where tables were moved back to create a much bigger dance floor.
Other short takes:
* The gorgeous lead singer for the rock group Loose Cannon was given a compliment about her active and engaging stage presence, but it didn't transmit. She said that she is hard of hearing, and that was a problem even now, after the set had ended.
* A guy who has bartended at Pudge's since fall is from St. Paul, but says he has been coming to the One Block Run for 16 years straight.
* A man with local ties spent a night in jail in Las Vegas, and was held in close proximity to O.J. Simpson shortly before he was found guilty of a raid on a motel room.
* Then there was the guy who between sips on his beer pulled an antlerphone out of his pocket. Yes, it was made of a deer hoof, but this is Wisconsin, and it seemed to be as functional as Verizon or T-mobile (not to be confused with a hunting T-zone).
* And don't forget the long discussion prompted by a woman who initially insisted that a stop sign that has trim around its octagon shape is merely a guideline - until, that is, she got pulled over for merely pausing at a few.