Letter: Thoughts on freedoms

Dear Editor,

That’s enough! Last week I was trying to come to terms with breathing clean air in both public and private places for the rest of my life. Now you want to tax me for the extra weight I’ve put on.

People, please! This is America, land of the free and home of the wealthy braves. That’s right, pick on the fat kid. Next it will be against the law for the beautifully challenged people (ugly people) to come out in the day. Heck they will have to close WalMart, thank God Kmart fell. Not to mention if Good Will arrives.

Though on second thought, Hudson and the surrounding communities could raise a lot of revenue. We could erect a sign with a picture of Lyle Lovett on it that reads, “If you are at least this environmentally unfriendly, please deposit the correct change.” I can already see our first major hurdle, Speaker Pelosi will show up and claim she missed the sign and demand that we prosecute someone from the previous administration for skate boarding.

Of course, Reagan can’t recall and Bubba Clinton is busy looking up the word “is” so he can file his taxes. George and Dick are looking for weapons of mass destruction, but they can’t seem to locate any. The closest thing them good old boys could find to a WMD, they affectionately called Bush’s second term and they unleashed it on the American people. Oh the humanity!

As unbelievable as what some of our former leaders have said or done, or how naive they perceived the public to be, they did not even try to tax the fat. I know what Mr. Roosevelt would have said about the smoking ban — If I can’t smoke in the White House, save your own damn country, I’ll be in the Hamptons. But think of the money that we could get if Eleanor came to town!

We need to concentrate on the task at hand, to right the listing ship we call America and find where the heck Bernie hid all the money. Oh yes, and where do we hide Hilary when company comes.

Bobby McGee was right — the only thing that freedom means is nothing left to lose, except weight! One last word of hope, rumor has it that Big Al (Gore) is on the verge of inventing another Internet that will solve all China’s problems of hacking into the Pentagon.

Tags: opinion, hudson, letter, freedom