Day By Day: Let’s get this turning 60 over and done with ASAP

Talk about it

I’m thinking about my friend Sandy who is turning 60 this week. She’s about three weeks older than me and I’m wondering how she is taking this birthday.

Sandy and I met when we became roommates at the boarding school we attended in Eau Claire. We had a lot in common — both farm girls from big families who had to do chores at the school to offset our tuition and board. I knew immediately that she was smart and talented. Even at 15 she could write better than any of us and played the piano and sang even better than she wrote. Despite all that, we became close friends. I am not quite sure what she saw in me — maybe the fact that I knew the value of an intelligent woman in my life.

The truth is that without the women in my life, this business of turning 60 would be far worse than it already is. You can forget that bunk about 60 being the new 50 or 40 or whatever. I’m just going to be a “new” 60-year-old. But those women will get me through it.

My sister is at the top of the list. Fortunately she is older than me, so that always mitigates my birthday. From the time I was a little girl, I have had a “crush” on my sister. She was, and, still is, very beautiful and has had a way of attracting interesting people all her life. She has an innate sense of style and I’d probably be wearing polyester smocked tops if it weren’t for her.

But it is her unconditional love and support that I value most— whether of me or her children or mine. It is a constant in my life I don’t think I could do without.

My friend JoAnn came into my life when we moved to Hudson more than 20 years ago. I got her in a package deal with her daughter Amy who became our “go to” babysitter when the kids were little. JoAnn and I come from different backgrounds. She was an only child — I was one of eight. She got married in her 30s; I was a wife at 19. She is organized and pays attention to detail — I’m much less so, kind of slovenly even.

It was JoAnn I cried to when I accidently swept $35 into the trash at Burger King and didn’t notice it until I went to gas up the car. “You are trying to do too many things at once Meg. Keep it simple and go dig in that dumpster for your money!”

JoAnn warned me that I would not remember all the really cute and clever things my kids would say while growing up. She said to write them down. I didn’t and she was right. Thankfully for Cory and Katie, JoAnn does remember them along with things like a photo of them in shorts and cowboy boots or wearing Amy’s graduation gown, something she knew where to find when they graduated from high school.

She’s a little older than me so she has been coaching me along the way, providing guidance over what is not worth sweating over and what just plain sucks. I can do without that $35 I threw in the trash but not without her.

Diane was my next door neighbor and co-worker for many years and her role in my life has long been to say the things I am too chicken to. As I move gradually into senior citizen status, I look to her for reassurance that getting older doesn’t necessarily mellow a person. On the contrary, Diane is living proof that anything worth believing, is worth believing in passionately. She will listen to opposing points of view but you better darn well return the favor. And she hasn’t lived all these years to see women give up any ground — when it comes to that, she will take on all comers. It’s good to have a feminist with history in your life.

Mary Ann is the kind of friend I never knew I needed but now know I couldn’t do without. She is constant — constantly kind, constantly thoughtful and constantly funny. She is living proof of the power of joy and laughter in our lives all the while dealing with more than her share of health issues. Living like Mary Ann just seems like a good idea at any age.

I do have a couple of friends younger than me but I don’t hold it against them. In addition to having beautiful hair and eyes, Alice is one of the smartest women I know. She is also the most honest and courageous. Only in Alice could such lofty personality traits be attractive. She became a nurse recently and we have decided that when our little group has to move into a home, she will the one in charge at “Shady Bitches.”

There’s also Mary Claire. We are kind of the odd couple — she’s petite and well-behaved, and I’m not. But there is so much more to her than her suits and well-groomed hair. She is fearless, working a room of movers and shakers better than anyone I’ve ever known. She is fiercely loyal and incredibly sensitive and has the best and bawdiest laugh of anyone I’ve ever known. These things all make her indispensible in my world.

I could go on. There certainly are others I could mention. I’ve said it before. I got lucky when I moved to Hudson. I found the best friends of my life here. I just hope Sandy has had the same luck. Happy Birthday to us both.

Tags: opinion, columns